Love, Hate and Reminiscence

I lie in reminiscence
awaiting a truth to reveal itself
No conscience
No will
No strive
Just letting myself go

I hate these memories
yet i can't help but to hold on to them
as much pain as they bring me
an answer is hidden

No tears
No remorse
No emotion
stands to conflict

I wish to rid myself of these curses
so i try and forget
forcing myself not to know
Not to remember
but I cannot allow myself
for out of all the suffering
I have found something worth it

I hate these memories
but i have found reason to keep them
for out of these horrible images
the few that have come with you
have made the suffering worth it

I lie here in reminiscence
awaiting a truth to reveal itself
with a new conscience
a new will
a new strive
and driving myself forward with reason

A guiding image forms
just about the horizon
giving me hope and a key
unlocking what has been set away

I love these memories.